An orphan heart is one that does not feel like it has a home in a father and mother’s embrace. Therefore it is insecure with love and struggles with fears of trusting, rejection, and intimacy. This orphan must make a choice whether he or she will take the risk of opening up his or her heart and submit to love or does he or she continue to put up the walls of self-protection and reject love once more. Does this sound familiar to anyone? I know I have struggled with this in my own life over the years and have watched it operate in many of the lives around me.
But let me remind you what the scriptures tell us:
1 Jn 4:18-19 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears in not perfected in love. We love because he first loved us.”
We were made for love and in order for you to walk out your destiny in the fullness for what God has for you, you are going to have to choose to love and open yourself up to love. And when you do this, the revelation of love makes your home in the Father’s embrace. Residing in this embrace gives way to the act of constantly receiving his love in all circumstances, good or bad, and giving that love away to everyone you come in contact with.
But sadly enough, many have been deceived into choosing to reject, not trust, and not to love, which results in living like you don’t have a home with our heavenly Father. Once you recognize that you have embraced an orphan lifestyle over having a home in His embrace, you must begin to move from living life as if you don’t have a home to living life as if you do.
To move to having a home in His embrace requires in large some simple but serious choices. One cannot just simply cast this out and expect it to be completely gone. There is an element of telling that spirit to go but a large part requires you to walk it out and to choose to do the right and sometimes hard choice.
As you begin on your journey, your heart needs to come into alignment with the Father’s heart and away from the father of lies. This will require humility and a willingness to approach the whole process with faith like a child. The depth of humility we embrace determines the depth of kingdom life we experience. These truths and steps will take you on a path of humility – a willingness to be known for who you really are.
Jack Frost, in his book, “From Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship” outlines some simple but life changing steps you can take to walk it out:
1. Forgive your parents for misrepresenting Father’s love to you. Without forgiveness, there can be no progress.
2. Ask your parents to forgive you for the way you hurt and disappointed them. It is easy to remember and rehash all the bad things they did to you and the way they mistreated you, but it is a lot harder to own up to all the ways you may have hurt and disappointed them.
3. Focus your life upon being a son or daughter. The acid test for being a son or daughter is your ability to honor. And it is honoring all people. Honor involves a decision that is made to put love into action, to give a person a position of high value and worth. Even when we have been disappointed, hurt, or wounded by a person. Honor chooses to make a decision to not respond back harsh in any manner. No matter what is coming from another person, honor chooses to not expose but to give grace to the hearer. Honor views each person as a precious gift from God and grants them a position that is worthy of great respect. Honor chooses to not respond with any unwholesome word or tone or behavior! We can be 100% right in our assessment of others’ attitudes and behaviors, but love covers and does not expose others’ weaknesses or whine about them. You need to ask the Lord who do you want me to honor and get underneath and push up, making their lives and ministry a blessing? Whose son or daughter are you?
4. Forgive spiritual and governmental authorities. We must forgive coworkers, governmental authorities, and forgive those within the church who have hurt us, disappointed us, or misrepresented Father’s love to us. You must not dishonor authority God has placed in your life even if they are unreasonable. Ro. 13:1-8 and 1Pe 2:18 tells us this. I am not saying that you should submit to the point of going against the word of God. But majority of the times we dishonor because of issues or character flaws in us and them and that is wrong. It only opens up the door to letting the enemy into our lives. When you dishonor authority God has put into your life it is as though you are saying “If God put this authority in my life, then what a poor manager he is!” You are slapping God in the face.
5. You may need to seek forgiveness from those in authority.
6. Breaking it off your life generationally.
7. Daily renounce Ungodly beliefs and hidden lies of orphan thinking. A key truth to displacing an orphan thinking is to expose the lies and ungodly beliefs that are at the core, let the Lord give you a new Godly belief, and let light dispel the darkness.
8. Begin sowing into your inheritance. Take every opportunity to sow into the life of those who have so graciously taken you under their wing, sown into you, and represented the Father’s unconditional love to you as a parent would.
9. Enter into your inheritance.
In this world we live in today that sends such a strong message of “there is not enough”, “you are not enough”, and “you need to only look out for you to survive” has caused the orphan spirit and lifestyle to be rampant in many today. But the good news is our Heavenly Father always has a better plan and a way out for us. If you recognize this at work in your life today don’t hesitate to position yourself towards the Almighty and walk your way out of this orphan lifestyle and into the home of His embrace.
NCWC Transformation Center Director