“I reckon” is a saying I heard often on my grandparent’s farm. It was their way of saying “I have assessed and calculated what you have asked and my conclusion is yes.” To say “l reckon” was saying more than just yes. It was a much thought out yes. So why did this phrase lose it’s usage over the years? It seems to me to be a quality phrase to have said. Reckon just isn’t a word we hear anymore in our everyday discussions with one another but why is that? I believe reckoning and using the phrase “l reckon” is a lost art. 

Reckoning is the process of calculating where you are. How often do you really realize where you are at in emotion, behavior, or thought? Or do you most often just respond without thinking? The process of reckoning all starts with your emotions. Our emotions are indicators for us on what is going on inside. They point us to our beliefs and behaviors. They do not dictate our behavior. We are responsible for all our actions. And when we respond or act, we are willingly choosing to do so. Our emotions do not make us do anything. It’s only when we fail to recognize our emotions that we allow them drive our behavior but again that is a willing choice you are making. So it is important for you to recognize that you are feeling something more than mad, glad, sad. Developing an emotional vocabulary is important even if you have to get the thesaurus out to do so. It’s the beginning process of calculating where you are at and puts the beginning understanding to why your yes is yes or why your no is no. 

Let’s see how Jesus walked through the reckoning process Mk. 14:32-36 TPT

“Then Jesus led his disciples to an orchard called “The Oil Press.” He told them, “Sit here while I pray awhile.” He took Peter, Jacob, and John with him. An intense feeling of great horror plunged his soul into deep sorrow and agony. And he said to them, “My heart is overwhelmed with anguish and crushed with grief. It feels as though I’m dying. Stay here and keep watch with me.” He walked a short distance away, and being overcome with grief, he threw himself facedown on the ground. He prayed that if it were possible, he would not have to experience this hour of suffering. He prayed, “Abba, my Father, all things are possible for you. Please—don’t allow me to drink this cup of suffering! Yet what I want is not important, for I only desire to fulfill your plan for me.” He was engaging with his feelings and connecting his thoughts and behaviors to those feelings. Jesus shows us the way and how to deal with our feelings and allow them to be indicators of what’s going on inside while keeping a close eye on where he wanted to go.

The next step in reckoning is you have to get curious about what’s happening around you or to you that has caused these emotions to arise. If you are feeling frustrated, it’s recognizing that it goes beyond the “in-the-moment” circumstance. Yes, the in-the-moment circumstance has triggered it but it is asking yourself why does this frustrate me? Am I scared of something? Or is it a selfish response that someone is making me look bad therefore I respond with frustration instead of love and grace. Or is it because I truly don’t believe in myself that I can do it and the circumstance causing me to come face to face with my own insecurities and you don’t like that. Getting curious about what is happening and asking yourself the hard questions helps us to walk into our own stories and own them versus off loading our emotions and thoughts onto others and blaming them. “You either walk into your story and own your own truth or you live outside of your story hustling for your worthiness”-Brene Brown. 

The process of reckoning gives understanding and ownership to us. Too often we want to put ourselves on cruise control so that we will live comfortably in life. But really is that all we were created for? We all want to live successfully and courageous knowing we are triumphant in our endeavors in life. But how can one live courageously without getting out of the comfort zone? One cannot live courageously without doing something afraid. And there is definitely no comfort in doing something afraid. And to be able to do anything in life that produces success or daring greatly moments, you have to be able to reckon and calculate where you are at, where you want to go, and how am I going to get there. We have to produce a tolerance for discomfort and stop disengaging with this process to only self protect, so we can live wholeheartedly to what God has destined each one of us to live for the furthering of his kingdom here on earth just as it is in heaven. 

Michelle Preble
Transformation Center Director

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